6 Things You Should Not Ask A Masseur.

Nov 24, 2019
I’m not going to talk about if it’s normal to have an erection during a massage, should you leave your shorts on, is it ok to tip a masseur, can you date a masseur, should you call or text a masseur or what should you do if you accidentally fart during your massage session.
I want to talk about some topics that you may not have considered. More specifically things you should not ask a masseur.


#1 "Is your M4M massage sensual or erotic"?

Let me clarify. This is a legitimate question but SHOULD NOT be asked without first asking the masseur if he can discuss private matters over the phone. Most masseurs are not sitting behind a reception desk waiting for your call on a landline phone. It is likely they are out and about running errands, at the gym or with family and might be answering your call on a cell phone speaker, a car audio system or even on an apple watch while standing on line at the supermarket. I’ve been in all 3 situations. Please, avoid potentially embarrassing him and ask for permission to speak freely first.


#2 Don’t ask a masseur if he takes credit cards AFTER the massage session.

Ask him before you confirm your appointment.
It is common that most businesses accept credit cards but don’t assume your masseur does or wants to. If you’ve already received your massage service and the masseur doesn’t accept credit cards you may have to run to an ATM. Not something you want to do after being completely relaxed and the masseur will not want to hold up his schedule. Worse, he may be very upset because he may not trust you will return but has no choice. It is correct to ask about payment options before scheduling your appointment. There are dozens of payment solutions available to almost everyone whether you are a business or individual. Such as Venmo, Zelle, and Apple Pay.


#3 Please don’t ask a masseur for his "stats"

I get it. You are looking for a 6 foot, muscular (fill in your ethnic preference) man with a nice "package" deal and who are disease and drug-free (eek smh on the last one) First off, you are talking to a male massage therapist and not a male escort. This question will get you blocked on my iPhone and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Unfortunately, the gay male massage industry conjures up thoughts of sex and eroticism. Men sexually touching men or even performing gay sexual services in exchange for cash. However, massage therapy is a regulated profession in most states and requires an average of 1,000 hours of education and passing a state board exam before receiving licensure. Don’t judge a masseur by the site he advertises on. A good rule of thumb is to read his profile entirely. Don’t assume anything. Ask questions but be mindful as we already discussed above.

If you text a masseur for an appointment and he immediately replies that he is available now,

#4 Don’t ask for a masseurs availability then reply 2 hours later to say you are on your way.

I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me. Let’s assume its 11 am and a client asks "what time are you Available? If I immediately reply with "now" or I if I give an exact time such as replying "I am available to see you at 2 pm". Then it is expected that you will also immediately reply to confirm or any other response. Don’t assume the masseur is waiting for you or has altered his schedule in any way to accommodate you. If you reply even 30 minutes later he may have booked someone else for that time slot and is no longer available to see you. To be understanding and patient I generally allow my clients 15 minutes to reply to confirm the time I offered. Beyond that its a fresh start to ask my availability.


#5 Don’t text a masseur with a one-word message.

Like "Hello", "Hi", "How are you?" , "What’s up?" and worse "sup?" You will not get a response from me. I won’t get into etiquette about texting vs calling here but if you text please state the purpose of your message. A reference to where you found my phone number and your name is nice too but not a big deal. At least when contacting me. I’ve received thousands of messages and by now I’ve created an internal meter which tells me if I should reply, ignore or maybe block. Here is an example text message that I will respond to immediately. " Hi, Kevin I saw your ad online and wondering if you are available at 2 pm" That’s it! This tells me you read my ad profile, understand my rates and you are serious. (if you set an appointment and then ask my rates you may get dinged a few points and may require a new reconfirmation to reduce my risk of your possible no show) Remember, the masseur is running a business. You wouldn’t text your doctor "Hey, what’s up" to make an appointment (well maybe the ones listed on FINDM4M and I understand but at least make your initial contact with male masseurs a professional one until you both have gotten to know each other and he is ok with your style of contact in the future.


#6 Don’t send your pics and stats then ask for his in return.

Please don’t send your stats or pics period. (unless the masseur has requested you to) I don’t know how to put this eloquently but it doesn’t matter what you look like (at least not to me) I welcome all men gay, straight, married, curious, young, senior, thin, heavy or transgender. It is however important that you have good personal hygiene and this should go without saying. From a masseurs point of view, sending unsolicited pictures and x rated stats signals to him you are looking for something that he may not offer. Don’t be offended if you don’t receive a reply.

Here’s a bonus tip when contacting a masseur:

Don’t expect a masseur to always be available when you call or text.

Everyone is entitled to some time off. Even a masseur needs to silence his phone once in a while and get a massage. We live in a time where most people are connected to their smartphone all the time and therefore expected to be available to answer calls or reply to a text or email regardless of what time it is. If you contact a masseur and he doesn’t reply, don’t send repeated messages or get upset because he cannot immediately answer his phone. Know this, most if not all male massage therapists are self-employed and do not have a receptionist to schedule their appointments while they are unavailable. Hopefully, they have displayed available hours in their ad and that’s a good place to check first. After all, you wouldn’t want him responding to messages or calls while you are receiving massage under his care.

by Kevin LMT
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